Relationship Goals

In the last year social media has become almost overrun with the hashtag “relationship goals.” Typically, the saying is reserved for the more lavish expressions of love like purchasing a car for your significant other, going on expensive vacations with your significant other, or in the case of Meghan Markle, literally marrying your prince charming.  While you may not be ready to travel the world, here are 5 attainable goals to add to your relationship checklist:

Be respectful--  Respect is a foundational part of any relationship, be it romantic or platonic. In healthy relationships respect is shown by partners valuing your opinions and belief systems. (yes, even if they differ), and ultimately who you are as an individual. Some examples might include respecting each other’s boundaries, listening actively, making equitable compromises, and speaking kindly to and about each other. 

Establish and maintain trust— Trust is the building block for any functional relationship and without it, the relationship can become quite taxing on the individuals involved. It is essentially the faith or amount of confidence you have in that partner. Trust in a relationship can be built and maintained by keeping promises, being truthful, admitting your mistakes, and listening actively to your partner. 

Maintain independence and autonomy—  In healthy relationships, both partners are able to come together as two complete wholes rather than fractions of themselves. When this happens, partners are able to retain aspects of their own individuality while simultaneously building a life with their partner. One way this can be achieved is by supporting and encouraging friendships outside of the relationship.

Practice healthy communication—communication is key to developing and sustaining any relationship. In healthy relationships partners feel comfortable enough to openly talk about their feelings, wants, and needs. Healthy relationships also require open and honest dialogue about differing opinions and expectations. Some things to avoid are break downs in communication (not listening, avoiding certain topics, attacking or placing blame on partner) as well as withholding communication (giving partners the silent treatment.)

Be supportive—In relationships, we all want to feel that we are valued. One key way to ensure both you and your partner feel validated is to actively encourage them in aspects of their life, especially those that may be significantly difficult. This can be done by offering little nuggets of encouragement or reassurances.

REMEMBER—healthy relationships are meant to be a partnership between two people. The relationship is transnational which means all parties involved are sowing into the relationship as well as reaping the benefits. Partnerships are meant to build people up, not tear them down.