Bringing Bae Home

It’s that time of year again, we’re gathering around the table with family and friends spreading love and thanks. This year is different though. This year you won’t be ignoring questions about your love life because you have a partner. how do you know when you’re ready to bring them home?

Are you ready?

All relationships progress at their own rate. One of the greatest factors to consider if you are ready to bring your partner home for the holidays is your level of comfort and vulnerability within the relationship. Do you feel comfortable enough for your partner to meet your uncle that has no social filter or your cousin that drudges up embarrassing stories from your teenage years? Be sure you’re ready for your partner to meet your entire family.

Do you know your relationship standing?

Maybe you both are just taking it slow, testing the water, or are committed—whatever the relationship standing it is important that you both are on the same page and understand what you are in relation to each other. Be sure to have a conversation about the nature of the relationship, how serious you both are, and what are your short-term goals.

Can you give them the run down?

Remember as anxious as you are about bringing your partner home for the holidays, your partner is likely just as anxious especially if this is their first time meeting people in your family. It may be beneficial to educate them on your family dynamics and who will be there. Give them a heads up about any quirky traditions your family may have or any family members that may be a little overzealous. If you know you have family members that enjoy interrogating new comers give your partner a heads up. It may also be helpful to give your family members a little information about your partner so they aren't inclined to bombard them with questions. 

Set boundaries

This may be the most important step in this process. Make it a point to set boundaries with your partner and your family around the interactions that may occur. Boundary setting in this situation may be as simple as letting them your family know that your dating history is not a discussion point. This may also include letting your family know to avoid controversial topics such as politics, religion, or sometimes even football. 

Check in with your partner

New experiences can be stressful for all parties involved. While you may be comfortable and feeling right at home, the same may not be true for your partner—in fact your partner’s anxiety and levels of discomfort may increase at some points during your trip home. For this reason, it is important to regularly check in with your partner. Be sure to carve out some time just for the two of you to process and decompress from all the stress.